Wednesday 7 December 2011

Advice on Christmas Shopping.

Not much to say this week, unfortunately I've been involved in some quite tedious jiggery pokery.

This is the time when you are likely to be grumpy and fed up with wading through the infinite sea of morons and slack jawed tourists. So, if you find yourself getting stressed and annoyed. Take this advice:

People don't think about London too much, so walk parallel to Oxford Street and only go on to that road when you near the shop you have to visit. Limiting your time on that area is vital to maintaining sanity. If you have to go down Regent's Street then use the back streets between Bond Street and Oxford Circus, leaving the Soho side until you're feeling a lucky.

If you find things getting to you and you're near Selfridges, wander up to the Wallace Collection and bask in the vast array of pointy, stabby, smashy goodness they have there, make yourself an imaginary Christmas list (a challenge for most of you: do not just say "All of them") and then think about how it would ease your tube journey home.

If you're at the other end, you could always relax in the British Museum. It's not quite as satisfying, but it's a good place to regain a little calm.

NEVER and I mean this NEVER visit James Smiths and Son's first. It's a lovely cane shop near Tottenham Court Road, they used to sell sword canes (as shown by their stained glass windows) and they have a passing familiarity with Cunningham, Vichy and Bartitsu. They will be able to supply you with canes that are beautiful, effective and a joy to play with. You do not want to be holding one of these as you walk through the crowds, it could end badly.

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