I've been wrestling with this for a while. There's a concrete point where 'misunderstanding', 'different goals'... and all sorts of stuff becomes "taking the piss". Often these people hide behind the rules- don't hate the player, hate the game type people. For me, the dispute about a venue isn't about the venue- It's about extracting urine, we can all get along if we're honest.
The latest starts with me recognising my abilities and doing that with the appropriate amount of ego. When I say that somebody is a better teacher than me, I'm not putting myself down, it is because they are a better teacher than me. I respect them because they have earned that respect and some of them are the best in the world at what they do. Last week, we had someone being very apologetic while we insisted they went to Dave. That's what we like- 'sorry you're not for me, can you recommend a better teacher?'.
This is the very core of sportsmanship and gentlemanly behaviour, especially in HEMA. You get hit, you acknowledge it. A fair and well placed hit... is fair and well placed.
I've been half-teaching over the past 8 months or so. I stepped back because someone could do it better. I was ok with giving up my part of teaching because of this, I have a few grumbles thanks to lack of warning when things go tits up- but in general I am happy with the situation because of the skills in place.
So, the friction- we've worked hard to be inclusive and have a little place of our own. We have been happy to invite people in, share our knowledge.. shit like that. And a group has started to abuse out hospitality. What was a sparring group started to become a class and took some of our lot... became.
Backstabbing. That's about the best way to describe it. There was one 'person' who learnt under my better and when it was time for international competition, he coached opponents. Abused the trust and the kindness of tuition (we actually do this at cost to ourselves) and used that to score cheap points.
I can deal with a lot of differences of opinion. There's even room for libel born from testosterone poisoning and proving your worth by stating that you can wrestle a sad old clown that's twice your age. (he can, and he'd do a lot of damage to the clown- but that proves nothing) The misunderstanding about the difference between a charity and a bunch of weirdos with swords- that can be explained away. Not cleanly, but close enough.
You turn up, you pay less than cost, borrow swords, and then you coach people to embarrass the person who took time out to teach you? The explanation for that behaviour is one I 'd love to hear.
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From the person whose charity and kindness includes sabotaging and trying to take a venue from another group that just wanted to provide themselves with something the current clubs weren't offering? Oh yeah, that's totally back-stabbing. Or starting a tempest in a teapot because someone dared organize an event that was more in line with mainstream HEMA events, rather than whatever special version was currently in the UK, because they didn't dare ask your permission first. Absolutely. This is certainly "backstabbing."
ReplyDeleteSo that's the justification? Spite?
DeleteI was happy to support the sparring group while their actions and behaviours acted as support to others. But when it became a group of itself rather than something to support inter-club fencing- akin to the old saturday scrappers- I felt it had moved too far from its original purpose and changes had to be made.
I feel that as soon as the sparring group became a de-facto club, it should have changed venues. Mostly to stop confusion between the clubs and just as a mark of recognition that they are taking a different path. The newer club should offer to move, just out of manners.
If the resident club felt like you were treading on toes- then you should have done something to demonstrate that you understood. So, with that said- It's hard to condemn actions that force people to do the right thing.
I agree that finding a venue is difficult, especially in London where prices can be prohibitive and location/timing becomes much more of an obstacle. Having tried a few times, I don't envy anyone who has to go through that. However- that's part of becoming a club.
Someone worked very, very hard to find a place that was acceptable for both price and size. I haven't spoken to that someone to see if he feels that the piss has been taken, or if he has been thanked for his hard work. But from where I stand, I feel that piss has been thoroughly extracted.
As for "permission" for a big event, The scene is too small for egos- especially if you're trying to organise a major event in one of the biggest cities in the world. Ignoring clubs that would, otherwise have happily helped can be considered an unpleasant thing to do. In fact, it could be seen as a sticking two fingers up to
people who have helped out in the past. I was offended that I wasn't approached, I didn't make a noise about it- but it would have been considerate. I can easily see how people would be offended by being left out of organising an event that would reflect on all clubs in the area. It's too important a thing just to be left to any one club- everyone should get a chance to support it.
You want to frame it as getting 'stroppy over permission'. That is your opinion. I see it,.at best, thoughtless, short sighted and possibly a little arrogant.
Lets not forget- both groups want what is best for their clubs. Communication, empathy and a bit of respect goes a long way to getting that for everyone.
Don't feel so threatened, LSDC is obviously doing well, and happy to share a venue with RSC - the scene is big enough for all of us.
ReplyDeleteWhat happens during the LSDC's classes is something very different and developed from mutual respect and conversation (both with students and instructors). As far as I'm
Deleteconcerned, that situation is more like having a permanent guest instructor.
I don't feel threatened, I simply find the behaviour intensely rude and disrespectful, with a touch of biting the hand that feeds.
There's no clearer demonstration of that than someone going to class just to coach people on weaknesses with the intent to humiliate them in public. (Coach students on your instructor's weaknesses... coach your instructor on his weaknesses. Do not blindside him by coaching his opponents, there's no 'kind' explanation for that behaviour.)
If people are happy to condone and protect such behaviour, I won't be happy fencing or teaching them.
It's about integrity.
Makes me sad to read people are falling out over tournaments. Indicates too much ego involved, and people doing tournaments for the wrong reasons.
ReplyDeleteCoaching against your instructor isn't falling out over tournaments.
Delete